Monday, 20 August 2012
'I am a fisherman' 'You never fish' 'I am a fisherman who does not fish' 'So you just sit there? That's not really good enough is it.' 'SHUT UP. FUCK YOU YES IT IS' This is nicked from a radio show, but pretty much sums up how I feel about writing at the moment. I'll sum up a few 'why I so useless' arguments before I take down whatever links I have lying around to my blog. It's going to hibernate for a while. Firstly, I ain't got the drive. It used to be the case that when things happened, I'd immediately start formulating how I'd phrase them up, that just doesn't happen any more. Secondly, more and more I have a problem with the 'platform' of blogging. If it's writing about myself I feel its unabashedly self- centred, and if its creative work for an audience, then isn't that simply show-y performance rather than art or expression? I don't really know, I'm just not sure writing creatively 'for' a blog is a positive way to do things. Thirdly, I'm not going to be doing my creative writing masters in September any more, so I'm no longer studying at all (for now). As I've rested the pen for my academic energies, so I seem to have with my personal creative stuff. Perhaps I'm just too old / too young / too confused. That leads me to my final point. At the moment I'm out in Thailand and having a brilliant time, but really this is a transitory bit of my life, and this summer is just a small time-buyer my parents have let me indulge in. Probably predominantly to delay graduate-depression. At any rate, I am inclined to agree with a lecturer I once spoke to: to write you need experience, direction or both. And at the moment I don't feel like I've got too much of either. If you've ever read anything I've put up here, thanks, and see you in a couple of months when I change my mind and decide I want to dedicate my life to becoming a world famous blogger / rockstar. Be good, Tom.